All you need is...a clear mission?

Minnie

Amie and I have been somewhat separated in the last few months due (as previously mentioned) to me travelling the world and Amie’s blooming career. So it was only right that I went to stay with her this weekend for a much needed reunion. As we are partners in crime on the dating scene, this reunion wouldn’t have been complete without a clear mission in mind – namely to meet and (without sounding like a psychopath) ensnare a man.

The night started off well: we’d had some gin and tonics, I was wearing some faux leather trousers which I wasn’t quite sure about but eventually decided I could pull-off, and after a bit of x-factor accompanied pre-drinks we were ready to begin our night on the town.

We began our mission in a busy wine bar where I couldn't help noticing that a very tall, dark and muscular man was working on the door. Being in a city where a) I didn’t know anyone, and b) was showcasing my new lady-in-(fake)-leather look, I was determined to see if the situation could go any further. (Further than him opening the bar door and letting me through that is). I toyed with the idea of asking him outright if he was single, but decided against it for fear of sounding just a bit too keen. Suddenly I had a brainwave of magnanimous proportions: one of the waitresses was bound to know whether or not he was unattached, which would save me the embarrassment of trying to find out from him myself. I grabbed the attention of the girl clearing the table next to us.

‘Hi, sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if you know if the bouncer on the door is seeing anyone?’ I asked, inwardly congratulating myself at having such an excellent idea.

‘Erm, it’s a bit complicated actually,’ she replied. This didn’t put me off – I wasn’t planning on marrying the guy.

‘Because,’ she continued, ‘the two of us have actually been seeing each other for a while.’

My face dropped in horror – of all the waitresses I could have asked, I had to ask the one who was his girlfriend. I began apologising profusely, at which she assured me that ‘things were a bit up in the air’ and that she’d actually ‘been in touch with her ex’ recently. We then bonded a bit by chatting about how gorgeous he was, at which point she urged me to pursue him, but with probably a 99% chance of rejection I thought I’d give it a miss.

So, with that embarrassing and oddly convivial incident behind us we moved on to a different bar. And that’s where we ended up buying more drinks, doing some more dancing, and for the life of us could not remember the next morning how we got chatting to two charming Mediterranean men, and bringing them home with us for pizza, wine and um... a sleepover. 

Apparently the old fashioned approach of meeting in a bar is not so difficult after all. Once you’ve had a couple of glasses of vino that is.

x

All you need is...that first date?

Minnie

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent months. I've been travelling the world and Amie has begun her first proper grown up job: it turns out that these life events can seriously inconvenience the old blog postin'. But don't worry we are well and truly back on the blogging wagon.

So the really big news is that I finally took the plunge and went on my first ever online dating date. I saw this as somewhat of a milestone in the dating scale, as I must admit that I didn’t grow up envisioning that I would be online dating at the ripe old age of early-twenty-something. I had more of the ‘gorgeous, funny, intelligent man sweeps me off my feet’ scenario planned out in my head, but hey ho, as the saying goes if you want something done do it yourself. So I took control and arranged to meet up with Luke. A good looking (in his profile picture anyway) web designer from west London. Our date took place at a pub near my work (already scoring brownie points by trekking to my neck of the woods). Luke was indeed as handsome in the flesh as he was on screen. He was also an expert in wine tasting, and therefore choosing wine – excellent.

Now before I continue, I must confess that this date actually happened quite a while ago (before travelling the world got in the way of my blogging career) however, I came away from it feeling no urge to rush straight to my laptop to write down all the hilarious things that happened. Why? Because to be perfectly honest nothing hilarious, weird, or even particularly interesting did happen. I just had a really nice time (I know, how boring). A date of easy conversation and some very good wine. It led to a second date, which consisted of a night out at a Cuban bar with Amie and Luke's housemate. It was all looking very promising; maybe you're thinking - is this the real deal? Did Minnie find her perfect man? Is that the real reason for the recent dearth of fascinating blog updates regarding her love life? Well, fear not my friends because unfortunately for me - I just didn't FANCY him. He was lovely, and very nice, and funny, and charming. But for some reason there was just no spark there. No metaphorical crashing waves or heart beats racing at top speed. Not even a smattering of butterflies. Nothing. Do you know how I decisively came to this conclusion? Because I went to buy travel insurance the day after our second date, and the Australian guy who served me was so disarmingly attractive that I almost forgot where I was even going on holiday. It became horribly clear that the instant attraction I felt for him was utterly missing with Luke. This realisation led to many protestations from Amie ('But he's so nice, how can you not like him?' Look at his smile! He has such a good smile.) but I know that it is not to be. Although I may have found a new friend, I have not found a new boyfriend. And believe me, I am the most disappointed of all. 

Here's to the next date...

x

All you need is... happy hour?

Amie


During a short hiatus from online dating websites, I decided to attempt to meet a man in a more conventional and respected way; by crashing post-work drinks during happy hour in Central London.

The evening began with the primeval search for a seat. Once a seat had been wangled between four oldish men, ranging between thirty to fifty, an hour (and a bottle of wine later), I had enough confidence to wander around the bar searching for an eligible bachelor. After several further bottles of wine and several shots of Jaegermeister later, it is suffice to say that my memories of the night are rather hazy.

Despite good intentions earlier in the night, my inability to understand that when I am inebriated I am NOT God's gift to the dance floor lead to me dancing like a crazy person. From what I can remember, I also ran like a loon between several men, clearly seducing them with my dance moves and blood shot eyes. After a wise decision to miss my last train home, a move celebrated with four vodka shots, I decided that the boy that I was currently draped over was actually horrid and ran off to find someone more suitable. The night proceeded in this way for several hours, until I met Nick, who I exchanged phone numbers with (a process which when severely drunk took at least 9837423 hours) and finally, sensibly, decided to call it a night. I arrived home with a receipt for an £80 taxi fare, but most importantly with a date arranged for the following week. Success.

Date night. 


After a preparatory nap, bath and pre-date glass of wine, I met Nick in London. Despite minor set backs where I realised I had unintentionally left the price tag in my new clothes, a dead giveaway that they were bought specifically for that evening, and several blunders into conversation topics which in hindsight should not be addressed on a first date, 'so how many people have you slept with?', the night passed in a blur of loveliness. To cut a long story short, we drank, we ate and we discussed important issues such as current events in reality TV. It was only as we caught the last train home that Nick was treated to one of my personality flaws which I consider a major player for my lack of a boyfriend - my severe awkwardness (kind people call it shyness) surfaced as I said thanks and goodbye in the manner of a startled goose (consequently, a moment which I continued to live over and over in embarrassment in my mind for a good few days).

The experience was enlightening, and I cannot decide whether online dating is preferable to meeting someone in a bar. With online dating, you can simply ignore someone if you don't like their appearance or their portrayed personality, and save yourself  aggravation further down the line. You are also unrestricted as to when you approach someone on an online dating website: it is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. However, can you really judge a person by three photos and several paragraphs of text- think about previous ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or crushes- would you fancy them if you just saw a photo online and knew all of their favourite pastimes? Meeting someone in a bar does provide a 3D image, and is a more fun and romantic way to get to know someone. However, you have a lower chance of meeting someone who is more on your wavelength, as both of you may be viewing each other through slight beer or wine goggles, and you may discover unchangeable personality clashes several weeks down the line, which may have been spotted immediately with online dating. This would suggest that meeting and dating a stranger you find in a bar may be more hassle than it is worth.

Nevertheless, it was a wonderful experience, and now the game of 'who contacts who first' begins!

All you need is... an online dating profile?

Joining the online dating scene was the next logical step in our mission (even as I am typing this an advert for online dating has come on the radio – it’s a lucrative business). Being penniless graduates we joined OkCupid, a free online dating site which looked slightly less dodgy than the similar Plenty of Fish.com. After getting over the initial ‘Oh my god, what if someone I know sees my profile, how embarrassing!’ worries, we filled out our online profiles. This involved the standard self-summary, favourite books/movies/music, and an ‘I’m looking for...’ section.

The final box was titled ‘You Should Message Me If...’  Minnie, never one to do things by halves, stated these requirements exactly:

You have an Irish accent

You have long (ish) hair

You know the difference between your and you’re (this was a deal breaker as far as she was concerned).

  

Amie less specifically requested a 'nice, non-creepy man', which allowed possible future flames to express in their opening messages that they are in fact non-creepy (well done boys), or occasionally, 'dead creepy' (even better), suggesting a hint of wit which consequently meant that of course Amie would make an 'exception' for them as asked.

We were then instructed to answer questions posed by the website so that we could come closer to finding our perfect match. And these weren’t your ordinary run-of-the-mill match questions. Just a few examples are: ‘Would you rather see abused animals or starving children?’ and ‘Is homosexuality a sin?’ So at least that weeds out the homophobes and sadists (hopefully).

Within minutes of setting up our profiles we were overwhelmed by an onslaught of messages which, incidentally, is an excellent confidence boost – regardless of the fact that the majority of the messages you receive on these sites are variations on a theme which goes something like this: 'Hey beautiful/gorgeous/cutie, you have a gorgeous smile/face/hair. I'd really like to meet you/ get to know you/ take you out'. We quickly realised that with the amount of messages you receive on these websites, it is best to come up with an efficient screening system. 

More specifically, this is what Minnie came up with:

1. Do they fit any of my specific requirements (see above), and if not can I see past this?

2. Are they attractive?

3. Do they seem interesting?

4. Have they shown that they have taken time to read my profile rather than just look at my pictures? 

By following these sorting criteria it was actually possible to eliminate about 90% of the people who had messaged her. However, we did find that, unsurprisingly, dodgy and downright moronic messages are inevitable when joining a dating site. For the most part they are simply harmless and hilarious. Here are just a few samples:

From Amer to Minnie:

‘Hi I see you work in media? What part of media? In thinking of doing that at uni and was wondering of you could possibly give me some advice since you work in the field or even possibly some unpaid work experiance of possible...’

Sorry Amer, this is a dating website not LinkedIn. Good luck with finding some ‘work experiance’ elsewhere.

From Harry to Minnie:

‘Hey x you okay. Was looking through your pics and your gorgeous and look like you need a good seeing to and reading through your profile you seem like a very nice girl to chat to and not gonna lie fuck. Xx’

Who said romance was dead? And please - 'your gorgeous' - someone clearly hasn't read the requirements now have they Harry? 

From Henry to Minnie:

‘You're cute, probably due to your amazing eye’

Just the one eye that you like then Henry?

From Sean to Minnie:

‘Generic overexcited greeting! Obvious reference to profile information, with or without drawing a comparison between what we put on our profiles. Rhetorical question? Unnecessary semi-forced semi-witty remark. Laughing onomatopoeia. Humble request for further information?’

In fairness to this guy he has summed up most of these online messages pretty well...

From Tigerboy to Amie:

'hey, I would remove that pic from your profile'

Why Mr Tigerboy? Is Amie too indecent for the online dating world? Or are there stronger warnings behind this message, which speak from previous experience? Not wanting to give the satisfaction of a reply, we shall never know. Overall, Amie received generally duller messages which did not make the cut to appear in this entry, possibly as a result of the harsh filtering criteria. 

Thus, the jury is still out on whether online dating will lead us to a wonderful romance, but as promised, we will share all the highs and lows on here.

Until next time,

Amie & Minnie 

All you need is... a speed-dater date?

Minnie


So this week I met up with Joe, a match from the speed dating night (we both ticked each other). I had the benefit of looking him up on  facebook before we met (my privacy settings were far too strong for him to get a glimpse of more than my profile picture) and I was pleased to find that if anything he was better looking than I remembered. Excellent.


We arranged to meet at Waterloo station after we had both finished work. The organisation of the date was entirely in Joe's hands. With the last date I had been on (pre-blog) having been essentially a big disappointment, I was determined not to let my hopes get too high. I knew that we could get on well for three minutes but after that anything could happen.


However, I wasn't disappointed. He took me to a bar that had a great atmosphere and location. It was full of comfy sofas, dim lighting and coffee tables. We met at seven and didn't leave until past ten - I'm no expert but I think that's pretty good going for a first date. We went from talking about our jobs to bonding over terrible interview experiences, to our mutual love and appreciation of cardigans, to hilarious osteopath exercises that we have tried. He was funny, charming and had even been a model during a year in Japan. He seemed like the kind of guy who was willing to give pretty much anything a try once, which is an attitude I like in people.


Nevertheless, by the end of the date I felt as though I had caught up with an old friend rather than found my next boyfriend. We made each other laugh, but my heart wasn't all aflutter in his presence. As we walked towards our separate tube platforms the thought ran through my mind - was this going to be an awkward 'goodbye kiss' moment? Luckily I think we both felt the same way and we ended the evening with a hug and peck on the cheek. And so the search for my perfect match continues...


Minnie x

All you need is... speed dating?

So we decided that the best way to ease ourselves into our challenge would be via speed dating. We chose speed dating to start us off because:


1. Talking to people is something we do best.
2. We could go together - providing moral support and leaving us less likely to back out at the last minute
3. Our speed dating ticket also provided free entry into a fancy nightclub - this alone was enough to swing it for us.


We bought our tickets weeks in advance (a bit too keen, I hear you say?) and tried to approach the whole thing with an open mind. We really didn't know what to expect but we reasoned that even if the speed dating went terribly we would still have a fun night out. And if the dating went great - even better!


The event was held at a nightclub in central London. The venue looked pretty upmarket on the website (it actually had pictures of Prince Harry and Beyonce gracing the dance floor) so let's just say our hopes were high. We arrived punctually at six-thirty pm. (We had planned to go for a nice dinner accompanied by a strong bottle of wine beforehand, but due to train delays we ended up scoffing a quick McDonald's before rushing to the club. Classy.). We needn't have hurried: when we arrived there were approximately three other men inside and no women. Feeling very sober and about to lose our nerve we headed for the bar where we promptly ordered a bottle of sauvignon blanc. Needless to say this disappeared down our throats within the next fifteen minutes. Luckily, within half an hour a lot more people had arrived and we got chatting to two girls who were also first-timers. They were very friendly and normal and calmed our fears of being trapped in a room with socially awkward strangers (or creepy perverts).


The logistics of speed-dating are pretty simple - the women sit down and the men rotate every three minutes. You are provided with a small card in order to jot people's names down along with something memorable about them. (Unfortunately for one unlucky man Minnie's memorable info was 'fish breath - NO!'). It's important to remember to do this as the people you meet whizz by in a blur. The idea is that you tick the people that you want to see again. Minnie's first guy was pretty chatty and easy-going, although Minnie felt she may have put him off by wondering aloud 'have we officially started?' half-way through their conversation (they had). Amie's first guy was sweet, but very very awkward... however, she plowed through the three minutes with relentless questioning. It was really easy to get chatting to people and we both found that every time the bell rang we couldn't believe our time was up.


Having said that, there were definitely a few dubious characters in there. One man described himself as a professional poker player. Amie's take on this was 'So you're basically unemployed?' Unfortunately he also suffered from a bad case of body odor and subsequently neither of us were particularly impressed. Additionally, three minutes was about two minutes and fifty-nine seconds too long with Karl from Hong Kong. After twenty seconds of talking to Minnie he fixed his eyes creepily on her and asserted 'You look like you want to kiss me.' Minnie quickly backed away in horror and assured him 'No. I don't.' (He later invited us to a singles party he was organising which we politely declined). Yet happily the majority of the people we spoke to were normal, friendly and not unattractive. A lot of them were city workers who evidently found it difficult meeting a potential partner when they worked long hours. By the end of the night both of us had met at least one person that we wanted to see again. We spent the rest of our evening partying and drinking with our fellow speed-daters - just picture the first night of uni when everyone gets far too close far too quickly and you'll have some idea of how the evening turned out.


Overall we had a really fun night and would definitely go again. Speed-dating is a great way to meet new people, especially if you are new to an area. Imagine going for a night out where it's totally normal for everyone to talk to everyone else - genius! However, don't go with high hopes of meeting the man or woman of your dreams. (There was one moment when Minnie thought Amie had found her perfect man, only to discover that Amie thought he was gay and just didn't know it yet). From our experience it's best just to go with an open mind and enjoy it.


Amie & Minnie

All you need is... a relationship?

We are two single girls who have lost the majority of our friends to sickeningly happy relationships. While our friends are busy researching mortgage providers we are mulling over the most highly-rated online dating websites. While other friends and their partners are planning their complementary careers, we are agonising over what a singles party might entail. Putting aside our fear of embarrassment we have taken upon ourselves the challenge of trying to meet a man via the many different experiences that the modern dating world has to offer.


Amie


An awkward Chemistry (almost) graduate about to start a new job in an alien city where the people she knows amounts to approximately zero. Following several embarrassing adolescent relationships, a prolonged 'friends with benefits' relationship ("what was I thinking?") and a series of accidental one night stands, she is now ready to shop online for her ideal man.


Minnie


A History graduate now working in the world of television where all the men are gay or married. With a relationship history consisting of meaningless school crushes, an all-consuming first love ("sob"), followed by a plodding relationship more suited to the newly retired, Minnie is now ready to take her love-life to the next level by actively searching for a man.


We hope you enjoy reading about the highs and lows that are sure to follow.


Amie & Minnie